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Saturday, June 14, 2014

Rakes on a Train: CTA inappropriateness

Have you ever ridden in a train and something unexpected happened? Maybe it was pleasant and some guy just burst into song.  Perhaps it was less pleasant and some teenagers made a fuss on the train or bus.  Maybe it was unpleasant and there was a random naked homeless guy dancing in the middle of train.

On CTA, you see it all.  There are the regular jerks who are just rude and inconsiderate, using their bags to hold the seat next to them because their ridiculous egos fill more space than the rest of ours.  There are people who are trying to make spectacles of themselves for popularity, fame, whatever.  There are panhandlers and solicitors who get upset with you for not wanting to buy their things or give them your money. There are the plain crazies who say and do unnerving things and make people's commutes uncomfortable enough for someone to call the police.  

All of these behaviors fall in the scope of inappropriate for the train.  Take a look at these goofballs who decided to advertise their marriage on the train.  What a sad state of affairs that is.  Of all the places to walk around with a just married sign taped to your backside, WHY THE TRAIN?  Did they expect everyone to pat them on the back and congratulate them?

JUST MARRIED!!  ...Just stop.  These guys aren't even the first to do this.

There's this IDIOT with an EFFING ALLIGATOR on the train.  She should be shot for her blatant disregard for National wildlife.   That poor baby is far from a sustainable habitat and she's just parading it around like a trophy, grinning.  Ugh! 

I'm so cool and interesting!  Look at my baby Alligator! 

Then a drunk girl who decided that CTA was the best place to practice her stripper moves and get her twerk on!    Really, no.  I don't want you swinging your legs around me.  Even that old guy doesn't want to see that mess.  See how he's leaning as far away from her as possible?  He's straight up not having any of her crap.

There's also creepy, smarmy and weird catcallers and wannabe players who don't seem to understand that when a woman says no, she means 'No.  And get the hell away from me.'.  Seriously guys... you shouldn't be hitting on chicks on the train.  They are on a mission to do whatever it is they're commuting to.  Disturbing them in an already uncertain environment that's loud, full of nasty smells and unpleasant strangers is a good way to get maced.
Really, dude.  She's going to kill you..

Homeless fellas just sleeping with it all hanging out and possibly masturbating...  I've seen sights like this too  much.  It's sad.  Some of them are genuinely derelicts, slightly insane and oblivious of their surroundings and of social propriety.  Others are just shameless, rude sods who want to visit their suffering and hate on other people.

Not this guy, though.  He's always asleep on the strain, though not usually with his pants down...

And this creep who thought it was a good idea to run around using a fake boombox as clothing. 
I've actually seen this guy on the train- sans boombox and pants.

People do crazy stuff on the train for attention...and they get it.  But all attention is not good attention...and you guys really, really need to realize that.  That goes doubly much for you guys here on the internet.  Anonymity is not an excuse for being a wicked little turdlet and will be traced back to you.  Maybe not now, but someday.  Save the shenanigans for your house party.  Don't muddle my commute, internet news surfing, or anything else with them.  Thanks.

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