Knowing Your Friends: A Theorhetical Guide For Gift Giving.

Many people have trouble picking gifts for their loved ones.  You have to figure out if so-and-so is still into this thing or that thing.  Gift-giving requires a lot more brain-power than we're used to.  You have to relate past events, decipher a person's behaviors and common motives in order to get something good.  That takes effort.  People don't like EFFORT.  Each year, I'm sure that tons of women get gifts of scented bath things, gift cards to decidedly 'girly' stores, jewelry or something else that makes people state proudly that 'buying for women easy'.  What a joke.

....yay.

Buying for women is the same as buying for guys.  Still it's a lot easier than people think- IF you pay attention.  That's the key to never forcing someone to feign joy over a pitiful gift ever again.  Pay attention to what they like.  Take note of what they get excited over, what they talk about, what they use often, and what they haven't already bought for themselves.

A few years ago, my friends and I took a vow to never buy the 'typical' go-to gifts for women for each other or anyone else ever again.  So far, it's been a success.  No one gets jewelry, knick-knacks, fragrances or lotions unless it's something really cool that they haven't heard about yet, or it's a fragrance that we already know the recipient likes.  Nothing is returned to the store, no sad faces appear at our holiday parties, and we, as a group, get the best gift that can be given: frequent heart attacks brought on by the terror of unexpected shrieks of excitement. 

You're happy, but we need a better way to express it.

The fact that we pay attention to each other's likes and dislikes isn't just a way to ensure we get the perfect gift.  It also forces us to have a better and deeper understanding of each other as people.  We have to listen to each other, observe each other's moods, and share in each other's favored activities even if it's not something we'd pursue on our own.  We're face-to-face with each other's differences and we learn appreciate every single one. 

It breaks barriers that we didn't realize were there and makes us stronger as a group.  We share our triumphs, trials and embarrassments.  We aren't caged by self-doubt or suffering in silence, because we're aware that there's someone who will listen and help without judgment. Or... you know, we could all just be crazy.

I don't think we're crazy.  I honestly think we've got a good thing going.  Our interests are reaffirmed by our peers.  We're constructively and actively listening to each other.  Most importantly, the people we share our lives with are willing to be HONEST with us when we're wrong and supportive when we're not.

Since Valentine's Day is coming up, take this into consideration before you buy someone a lame card, those God-awful chocolates, or worse, some uncomfortable chaffing underwear that's more for you than them: Any holiday that is about LOVE, APPRECIATION, and CARING should only include gifts that are purchased with the goal of making the recipient happy.

All photos courtesy of Google images.