Product Review: Shills Black Mask

A while ago, I was hunting for some sort of remedy to help with my skin's sudden tendency to explode with nasty cystic acne and I stumbled upon a sort of facial mask that peels off and apparently purifies.  The product is created and marketed by Shills an Asian beauty company.
Many Americans are insanely enamored with Asian countries and practically scream, "OOOH ASIAN PEOPLE!!" like poorly educated otaku in crappy cosplay.

But not Sailor Bubba, his Cosplay's ALWAYS Awesome!

Knowing this, I was skeptical of the reviews that read like a dating column for a mail order bride instead of detailing an experience with the actual product.  But hey.  I've got nothing to lose, so I bought a tube.
Price:
With any product one of the first things that folks look at is the price of the item.  No one wants to shell out an arm and a leg for something that may or may not work.  The cost of the Shills Black Mask was pretty reasonable considering its a facial in a tube.  Only about 3 bucks with free shipping.

Appearance:
The outward appearance of the product was pretty basic.  An all black box, and all black tube, a slip of paper inside detailing the ingredients in the product and what each of them does.

 ...Written in Gothic-style type face befitting a horror movie poster.  Should I really be using this?  Is the real cure for my bad skin or a rabid vampire leaping from the bottle and gnoshing on my neck?  Hmm...

Upon squeezing out the product on my hand, I found that it looked a lot like ...tar.  It was THICK and I mean thick.  I've used peel off facial masks before and all of them have a viscous, sticky texture that dries to a slightly stretchy film.  This stuff was in  a category all its own.  First off, it was BLACK.  When you read the package, you expect something that's dark colored, possibly semi-transparent, but no.  This stuff is as blacker than the bottom of the Mariana Trench at midnight.  It was also VERY sticky, literally strong enough to stick my fingers together.  How was I supposed to get it on my face?!  ...Luckily I managed,  with these results!

Looks like Black-Face not a purifying mask!

Final Review: Well, I didn't experience any extreme skin changes like all the folks posting macro photos of millions of gross blackheads attached to the shills mask, but it was very benificial nonetheless.  My skin was SO SMOOTH, my pores weren't as clogged, the blemishes that remained dried up and flaked off, AND alarmingly, my dark spots were a lot less dark.  I also learned that you should never get this stuff in your eyebrows unless you want to lose them when you peel it off.  My whole face felt like it had been plucked!  Ow!
At least I won't have to get my eyebrows waxed now.